Blogtober 2018, Spirituality, Sunday Spirit

Sunday Spirit: My Experiences with Church

“Church?!?!?!”

That was the reply I received to a status update I posted on Facebook in February this year, regarding my going to church, meeting people, and making friends. I can’t say I was terribly surprised to receive such a reaction; up until a year or two ago, I identified as a polytheistic Pagan (about a year and a half ago I began to identify as an agnostic witch). Adie and Church were just two things which didn’t go together. Continue reading “Sunday Spirit: My Experiences with Church”

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Spirituality

My Year of Endings

When I went to see my spiritual counselor at the beginning of this year, she told me that on my birthday I will be entering a year of endings.* This is a good time to get rid of things, habits, and relationships which no longer benefit me. It’s not really a great time to start anything new.

The last few months, I’ve really been on a spiritual journey, but I still feel like I’m holding myself back. That needs to end.

So, as I’m preparing to enter my Year of Endings, here are some things I would like to let go of in my thirtieth year on this planet:

The need to fit a label. I am a witch. Since I started looking for religion, I have been a witch. Like many things, I am very open and accepting of however people want to apply that label to themselves… until I look in the mirror. When it comes to myself and my own beliefs, I still hold onto old and narrow definitions of what does and does not make me a witch. Despite the years I’ve spent on this path, I still worry about not being “witchy enough.” It is time for these limiting and outdated definitions to go.

The need to qualify. I am very scientifically minded. I want things, including my system of beliefs, to make logical sense. But, I’m learning that belief systems don’t always make sense and I can’t force them to be logical. Not everything can (or may even be meant to) be understood.

The fear of being wrong. This is tied to my need to qualify and understand everything. I think a part of me is afraid to look beyond the beliefs which make sense to and comfort me, because I don’t want to find contradictory information which will cause me to question the accuracy of my beliefs. But, this is how we grow. And beliefs are beliefs; part of the reason they are there is to bring us comfort. Just because I find contradictory information doesn’t necessarily mean I have to stop believing what I do or stop worshiping the ways I do.

Letting go of mental blocks is never easy, but I’m going to try my hardest. I know that doing so will open me up to new experiences and knowledge that otherwise I wouldn’t receive.

I love you all.

*These years (there are three; endings, creativity, and the third I always forget) are tied to one’s birth date and are varied for everyone. Just because I am entering a year of endings doesn’t necessarily mean anyone else is.

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Spirituality

A Witch's Beginnings, part three

Part One.
Part Two.

Wicca has a “harm none” edict which felt stifling to me in my late teens and early twenties. Not that “harm none” isn’t a solid principle to adhere to, but so many of the resources I found at the time promoted a sort of spiritual altruism that I just couldn’t get on board with. I was young and angry and oh-so tired of being told that was wrong. Continue reading “A Witch's Beginnings, part three”

Spirituality

A Witch's Beginnings, part 1

In the past, I’ve spoken vaguely about how I came to Wicca, which shifted to Paganism, which has turned into agnostic witchcraft, which continues to shift as I continue to search. But, I haven’t spoken about where I was prior to that, or really delved into the meat of the journey which brought me to where I am now.

Let’s talk about it. Admittedly, part of my hope in writing this out is to gain some clarity for myself. My spirituality is in a constant state of flux. Looking back at where I’ve been has often helped me figure out where I’m going. Continue reading “A Witch's Beginnings, part 1”