Crafting: Journal Cover

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Sorry for getting this post out so late! I forgot my film class started this week, so I kind of had to rush to catch up with it a little bit (everything’s good now; all caught up) and just didn’t have time to draft up a post! Oops! Now that I know class has started, I’ll be better able to manage that time.

Anyways, on with the post! Read More


Our Lives Matter

I’ve been very quiet regarding last week’s news about Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. What is there I can say that countless others are not already screaming from the tops of their lungs with incredible desperation? Of course, everyone knows that healthcare, and mental healthcare particularly, in this country is broken, except for all the people who can actually do something about it. Talking about that would just be preaching to the choir.

But, it feels wrong to remain silent. Read More

Happy-Happy Birthday-Birthday!

I turn thirty in two days (on the 10th if you don’t feel like doing the math).

It seems inconceivable to me. I used to joke that I never thought I’d live this long. Honestly, I think a part of me really didn’t think I’d live this long.

Because I go to a community college where most of the students are younglings fresh out of high school, I get a lot of people assuming I’m younger than I am. When people find out my age, most of the time I’m met with, “Oh, I thought you were younger than that!” Generally, people assume I’m somewhere between 20-24.

Of course, I get it. Context matters and I’m surrounded by younger folks. Some people don’t look their age. Some people are a bad judge of age. I’ve mistakenly thought people were younger or older than they really were. So, I understand.

It doesn’t make it any less annoying. Read More

Happy Pride Month!

This isn’t a “real” post, but I wanted to pop in to wish all my LGBTQ+ readers a happy Pride month! Whatever your sexuality or gender, I see you. You’re valid. Even if certain purists want to take this month to tell you you’re not, you are.

If you’re bisexual, you’re valid.

If you’re pansexual, you’re valid.

If you’re asexual, you’re valid.

If you’re trans, you’re valid.

If you’re nonbinary, you’re valid.

If you just prefer to stick with “queer,” you’re valid.

If you’re questioning your sexuality or gender identity (or both), your struggle is real and you are valid. (I’m also here to talk if you need.)

If labels aren’t really your thing and you just love who you love and do what you do, you’re valid.

If you’re anywhere else in between those things, and I just can’t think of your specific label off the top of my head right now, you’re valid.

I see you. You’re awesome. Be proud.

I love you all.

What to Do When Your Sacred Space… Isn't, Anymore.

I’ve written in the past about my favorite spot in Southern California (quite possibly my favorite place in the world that I’ve been to so far)—the area I consider to be my sacred space, the place I go when I need to unwind and reconnect to my soul and Providence. The Meditation Garden at the Self-Realization Fellowship in Encinitas, CA is a calm, quiet place, perfect for meditating (obviously), relaxation, and quiet reflection…

Until the weekend or summer hits. Read More

A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way (even if you're not feeling kind)

What I’m about to write happened on my way to math class last month. I was coming off a church service which had been incredibly eye-opening for me and I was just… I wanted that great feeling to continue. I was making an effort to remind myself that there are more important things than this temporary life. Read More

I'm Back!

I kind of took a little impromptu hiatus there, didn’t I? Did you miss me?

If you’ve popped by the blog or poked around at my social media recently, you might have noticed something a little different. If you haven’t, let me fill you in:

I have totally and completely revamped my blog! I have a new layout (still slightly under construction), a new about page, and a new name! The Cupcake Witch is now… Read More

How to Make Money When You Are Too Crazy to Work

These aren’t just for those of you suffering mental illness. These are also good side hustles if you don’t have a lot of time to work a regular job (because I can’t be in class and at work at the same time) or you have little kids you need to be home taking care of. Read this, then go get paid!

Damn, Girl. Get Your Shit Together.

It is my sincerest hope that this post doesn’t resonate with most of my readers. I hope you can wake up in the morning, brush your teeth, pour yourself some joe, and work a long and productive day at your nine to five job, five days a week until you die… at your desk.

Tv Series GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

But I wanted to put a resource out there for my readers who have bouts of “I am just too fucking crazy right now to work a real job.” Because despite what we may think, it happens to the best of us.

I have very good mental health. I wake up happy, I don’t experience any kind of explosive emotions (unless, of course, I see dogs locked in hot cars or someone chewing really loudly then, naturally, all bets are off). For the most part, I’m a pretty stable Sally.

That being said, all of my…

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Research, Explore & Experience Witchcraft Your Way

I’m not much on reblogging things, because my blog is basically a diary so I tend to keep it personal and share things on Twitter or Facebook if something moves me. But this is SO IMPORTANT for new witches (and is even a good reminder for those who’ve been practicing for a while). I cannot recommend this post enough.

The Witch & Walnut

research, explore & experience witchcraftI have to say I have been working on this post for sometime now and kept going over it again and again, trying to keep it short and to the point. This post is dedicated for new Witches that are not sure where or how to begin.

I get a lot of questions about where to begin, what do I do, how do I do it? what do I read, who do I talk too? How do I know if its right, wrong, real and genuine. Here is my answer…..

One thing I was taught from childhood from my grandmother was this…. Every Witches path is different, what you are meant to learn you will be taught, and the lessen will present itself to you. Its important not to force yourself to learn and accept something that does not resonate or make sense to you. After all, you are the…

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What a week!

This has been a really good week, for me. Not that I’m terribly surprised, considering how it started off.

That’s not to say there weren’t issues or problems (or just generally bad things that happened), but I am trying really hard to stick to that change I was talking about. I’ve been trying to remind myself that, while some things might suck, it’s just temporary and there’s something bigger to look forward to at the end of this journey.

It’s… not easy.

I think I might have gone a little overboard. In my effort to remember that it’s all temporary, I think I started downplaying the negative emotions I was feeling. Even while I know it’s temporary, it’s still important to acknowledge when I’m suffering or when I’m in a bad mood.

It’s a balancing act. I’m learning.

I’m trying to take this weekend to relax and recharge. Next week is going to be crazy! I have a biology quiz on Wednesday, so I’ll be spending a lot of spare time studying for that. I’m blowing class off on Thursday to go to Star Wars night at Disneyland with Pup and possibly going up to take pictures of the poppy reserve before hand. On Saturday I’m going up north to Temecula to go see Avengers with my dad. Then, I’m spending the night at his house and on Sunday morning attending the opening of the Temecula location for the church I go to.

Busy, busy week coming up! Whew!

It’s good, though. I like having plans. It’s fun!

Speaking of plans, I do have plans to resume regular posting to this blog. I’m just sorting out some details, because at the end of May my paid plan with WordPress is ending and I’m debating if I want to self-host among a few other potential changes I may end up making. I’ll keep you informed.

I hope all of you have great things going on, right now. Let me know what’s coming up for you!

I love you all.

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This is shaping up to be a good week

Witches, I’m about to get a little sappy and spiritual in a way that might seem a little out of place from me, since I’m usually much more tongue-in-cheek. In addition to this being a little sappy, this is also stream-of-consciousness rambling without any structure. So, be warned. I apologize in advance if it doesn’t make any sense.

Yesterday, in particular, was amazing. Monday was just a total 180 from how I’ve been feeling.

I credit Sunday’s church service for a good part of it, really. I know not all witches are as interested in mainstream religions like Christianity as I am,* so I won’t go into the details, but the sermon was on joy and basically how we allow our happiness to be dependent on temporary things which can easily be taken from us. Then, we live in fear of losing those things, or worse, we lose them and all our hope with them.

It really struck a chord with me, more than any other sermon I’ve listened to so far. I’m hoping it will be a catalyst to spark some serious change in the way I think about things.

But, what does that have to do with Monday being such a great day? I’ll tell you:

On Sunday night, I left my favorite sweatshirt at the warehouse where services are currently being held (there was an issue with the old space so we’re in this kind of transitional phase while our new space is being prepared). I didn’t realize it until I’d already gotten home and by that point everyone else had already left. I texted a friend from church asking if she’d seen it and after some back-and-forth, she said someone would put it aside for my mom to pick up on Monday afternoon.

The warehouse space is rented out for events, so people come in and out all day, usually (checking on things, touring the space, getting ready for their own events) and we were concerned someone might nab it before I got it back.

I was bummed, because it’s literally my favorite jacket. But, I reflected on the sermon I had just listened to and I thought, “It’s just a jacket. It’s not irreplaceable. I have other jackets. I’ll be disappointed to not get it back, but it’s not going to crush me if I don’t.”

Mind you, I am an anxious, catastrophic mess. A week ago, I would have sobbed at the very notion of losing this jacket. It has sentimental value to me.

On Monday morning, I woke up earlier than normal. It was weird, because on Mondays I usually sleep as late as I can and then rush to leave. But, I woke up like an hour early and couldn’t get back to sleep. So, I thought, “Well, since I’m up, and the warehouse is right around the corner from school, I’ll stop in on my way and see if my jacket is still there.”

I didn’t expect anyone to be there that early. And, sure enough, when I got there, the warehouse door was closed. I was bummed and about to leave, when I just felt compelled to wait a moment. Literally, I started walking away and just… stopped, turned around, and went back. “Maybe someone will come by in the next twenty minutes or so,” I thought.

That’s when I noticed the side door was open. I was able to go in, get my jacket, and head to school. I was thrilled!

Since the campus I’m at on Monday and Wednesday is only a half mile away, I decided I’d walk. According to Google Maps, it was just a straight shot for a couple blocks, than a left turn.

Except, Google Maps doesn’t take into account the fact that half of downtown is under construction and some walkways were closed. I ended up having to walk an extra two blocks out of my way, up a very steep hill. By the time I got to campus, I was exhausted, pouring sweat, and felt like I could sleep for eternity.

Honestly, I was kind of miserable.

But, then I thought, “Why am I miserable? Not because I got my jacket back, surely. Not because I got to school early and have time to write in my journal. Not because I got some much needed cardio in. Why?” And, I realized that I was basing my happiness on being comfortable.

Comfortable. Life isn’t comfortable. No wonder I’m miserable, if my happiness is based on comfort.

Once I stopped and reminded myself, “This is temporary. This discomfort is temporary. This whole life is temporary. There is something so much bigger and better that is out there waiting for me at the end of this journey. Why am I letting being a little sweaty and tired make me so miserable?”

The pastor at church said that bigger and better thing is God’s love. Maybe it is, I don’t know. Maybe that bigger and better thing is reincarnation into a better life. Maybe it’s reaching a higher state of consciousness and no longer needing to be reincarnated at all. But, whatever it is, it’s out there, and it’s way more important than being mildly uncomfortable, or waiting for class, or even my favorite sweatshirt.

And that thought totally shifted my attitude. Like, I was still uncomfortable, still tired and sore from walking up a ridiculous hill. But, it didn’t bother me the way it normally would have.

Later, I realized I forgot a fork to eat my salad for lunch (the campus cafeteria charges twenty cents for a fork unless you buy something to eat). I just kind of mentioned it off-hand to my lab partner, just in this, “Silly me,” sort of way. And she was like, “Dude, I have a whole box of plastic forks in my car because I’m always forgetting them. Come on, I’ll give you one.”

Our biology lab, which I usually dread, was actually really fun and I did really well at it. I understood what was going on, I got the directions, I actually moved slightly ahead of the class (usually I’m a bit behind).

And, I know these are all little things. Getting my jacket back. My friend having an extra fork for me. Doing well in something I usually struggle in. They’re small things. But, it’s like everything lined up for me on Monday, and I really, really believe it’s because of that shift in my attitude. Like something out there noticed and was like, “Hey, you’re getting it. Cool. I got you, right now. Try to remember this when things go bad again.”

Because, things will go bad again. That’s the nature of life. Things go bad for no apparent reason, sometimes.

When they do, I hope I’ll remember yesterday. I hope I’ll remember that this isn’t all there is. It’s not even close. These things which seem so big to my tiny mortal mind are temporary and not worth getting so upset over.

I love you all.

*By the way, speaking as someone who does still identify as an agnostic witch, church is super fun! Obviously, I don’t necessarily agree with everything they say, but it is interesting to see just how much of it does overlap with my beliefs and how it can fit into my beliefs.

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Learning to Live

I apologize for not sticking to my usual post schedule. I’m in a very strange mental/emotional place.

I’m thinking a lot about my future; about where I want to go and what I need to do to get there, which path would be right for me. I know it’s necessary, but it’s still overwhelming to think about.

The last month or so, I’ve kind of forgotten about my non-resolutions I made at the beginning of the year to stop putting so much focus on things that aren’t helping me and/or are causing me extra anxiety. Things like finding a job, getting a date, and learning to drive–all of which have been making frequent appearances in my actual pen-and-paper journal, lately.

I really need to get back on that (off that?), because I’m just getting distracted from my goal.

Unfortunately, I’ve also kind of lost sight of what my goal is. I’m starting to wonder if it was ever really my goal to begin with, or just the goal I adopted because that’s what I’m supposed to do–get a “useful” degree and a well-paying job.

I’ve never really been that great at doing what I’m supposed to.

But, hey, in other news, I went out and took some pictures yesterday! I almost didn’t, because I did something to my neck and was in a lot of pain on Wednesday. I wasn’t 100% yesterday, but I was probably at 90% and I haven’t gone shooting in so long. Plus, I’ve lived in San Diego mostly my whole life (save a few months where I found home), but I’ve never really gone out and explored it very much. Never on my own.

I’ve always made excuses, that not driving is such a hindrance and it’s so inconvenient and it takes so long… And I live my life in a room, alone for the most part.

It needs to end. If I want to have a life, I have to go out and make one.

I started simply, going down to the bay at Liberty Station. I knew where it was, I knew how to get there, and (although I’d never been during the day) I’d been to the area before and knew it was pretty enough to warrant photography.

I was there for about a half hour before I thought to text Matt (who works in the area) to see if he wanted to meet up and hang out before he had to work. He was down and a few hours later we met up, wandered around some of the shops in the area, and had coffee (well, he had coffee, I had cocoa).

So, yesterday was kind of a two-for-one situation–not only did I get out and take pictures (a step toward learning to live my own life), but I also initiated a social interaction (a step toward overcoming my social anxiety).

Matt’s a good friend. I’m really glad I met him. I feel at ease around him. He’s a talker, though. I don’t mind for the most part, I like listening to people talk, but it’s kind of tough to get a word in edgewise. Sometimes I would like to contribute to the conversation, too. At least what he has to say while dominating the conversation is interesting, though. He’s not just talking a bunch of random BS just to hear himself talk.

Of course, I’m horribly sunburned, because I forgot to put on sunscreen and then spent six hours walking around in the sun. Oops.

Hey, being a functional adult can’t happen all at once, right?

I’m going to go bathe in aloe.

I love you all.

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