Blogging Stuff, College, Coping Mechanism, Food, Mental Health, Personal Update, Spirituality

Q & Adie

IT’S Q & A TIME, WITCHES!

First of all, thank you all so much for your questions! I didn’t think I would get nearly so many questions and I’m really floored that you guys are so interested in my boring life lol! Thank you so much!

After I cut out the parts where I got distracted and stared blankly into space, the video ended up still being forty minutes long. So, I broke it into two videos you can watch at your leisure. Keep in mind, I filmed this on my laptop camera and edited it on the free Microsoft video editing software, so it’s not exactly super high quality… or the most flattering angle.

Fun Fact: I hate my voice, so the fact that I’m sharing this with you all is proof of my undying love for you.

Enjoy! Continue reading “Q & Adie”

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College, Health, Mental Health, Personal Update, Spirituality

Obligatory New Year’s Resolutions Post

Last year, I did non-resolutions–things I wasn’t going to focus on in 2018. That went over about as well as any of my normal resolutions do. Which just goes to prove that resolutions of any kind are kind of ridiculous. The average person just can’t sit down on January 1st and make decisions for their entire upcoming year. It’s just not realistic.

But it sure is goddamn fun, isn’t it?

So, in the spirit of the time of year, here are the “resolutions” I’m “making” for 2019 that I almost definitely will forget about by February! Continue reading “Obligatory New Year’s Resolutions Post”

College, Mental Health

What would it be? One-third life crisis?

It’s not a food post, but whatever. I’m having a lot of feelings right now and it’s my blog and I’ll do what I want!

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I’m writing this for queue at just after 5:30 on Thursday. So, when I say “today” I really mean “yesterday,” but that feels really weird to write, right now.

Today, I had lunch before class with Matt, who I feel like I haven’t seen in eons, but it’s actually only been about a month. As I’ve mentioned in the past, he’s delightful. Not really relevant to the post, but I felt like throwing it out there because he bought me lunch and I appreciate that.

Anyway, today at lunch, I mentioned to him that I’m about to turn thirty and I’m feeling rather dissatisfied with where I’m currently at in my life. Of course, Mercury (the planet of communication) is in retrograde, so I did so in a much less articulate way, but I think he got my point. As I’m about to hit thirty, he’s about to hit thirty-one and assured me that nervous, anxious feeling will pass.

I’m inclined to believe him. But, in the meantime, I’m a bit of a wreck.

I feel so very… not adult. And, I don’t mean that in the funny, meme-y way where I haven’t done my laundry in a month and ate an entire bag of Oreos in a sitting and “ugh, adulting is hard.”

I mean it in the I’m unemployed, uneducated, and have no real plan to change that in the near future. I thought I had all this time, but I’m looking around and I honestly don’t know what would happen to me if, Heaven forbid, something happened to my parents. *knocks on all the wood* I have no prospects. I would have to beg to sleep in my best friend’s parents’ guest room and try to find a job.

No wonder I’m single; I’m such a catch, right?

It’s scary. I’m scared.

At lunch, I asked Matt how close he is to transferring. Pretty soon, it turns out. Of course, in conversational reciprocity (and probably some genuine interest), he asked me the same.

“I switched majors last semester from English to STEM. I’m basically starting my college career over.”

Which is and isn’t true, I suppose. When I looked at my educational plan, I do have a number of general education classes that transfer over from one major to another (my social sciences, I’ve met my English requirement obviously, a history class). But, when I look at the number of classes I have to take–high level math and science courses for which I still need to take numerous prerequisites. I’m looking at another two to three years at the community college level. Then, three years at the university level.

When it comes to the number of classes I need to take, I’m basically a freshman.

Meanwhile, all my friends are either getting ready to transfer, or they’ve already graduated, or my little sister is less than a month out from getting her Master’s degree I’m so proud of her I’m bragging on her behalf I know I’m sorry I’ll stop now.

I know I shouldn’t compare myself, but it’s disheartening.

Marketing would be faster. English would be longer (because I want an MFA), but more fulfilling. But, Dietetics lets me make money while keeping me out of a soul-sucking corporate job.

Not to mention, I look at my transcripts and see all those dropped classes and just feel sick to my stomach. That’s going to look horrible when I try to transfer.

I really, really need to buckle down and get this done and worked out. Which I should probably start doing now, instead of writing a blog post about how I need to.

I love you all.


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College

Excuse me while I scream incoherently into the void

My classes this semester are making me completely rethink my entire educational plan. This is not actually a bad thing.

School is stressful. This semester in particular has just been a nightmare unlike anything I have experienced before (I literally cannot miss one more day or either class without being dropped; it’s not even half-way through the semester). Every morning on my commute, all I can think is, “I cannot believe I am subjecting myself to this much anxiety. Why am I subjecting myself to this much anxiety?”

And that, my dear witches, is a good question.

Why am I subjecting myself to this much anxiety? What is it that I am trying to gain from school, and is what I’m trying to gain what I really want?

Which requires me to ask and answer the question: What do I really want?

A couple years ago, Pup bought me the Self Authoring suite developed my Dr. Jordan Peterson. I kind of played around with it, and it’s interesting and a little helpful. Pup suggested I use it to see if I can sort some stuff out. I figured, why not?

I did the first part of the Future Authoring program, which concludes with a fifteen minute free-write of what your ideal future looks like. I’ll spare you the details, but here’s what I mostly took away from it:

I am so on the wrong path.

I don’t want a fancy, super high-paying job with money to burn. I want to save enough money to put a down payment on a small house somewhere that is not San Diego (I specifically say outside of Denver, but really it could be anywhere that is not San Diego or Los Angeles) and earn enough money to pay my mortgage and my bills and have a little left over to put in a savings/retirement account. My ideal future involves gardening and chickens and writing and crafting.

My ideal future does not include telling people what they should eat, or why. It does not include lab coats or intermittent sighing at people who aren’t sticking to their Diet(tm). It doesn’t include sitting in a cold, sterile office looking at charts and cholesterol levels. It really doesn’t include anything which requires a degree, at all.

Of course, that’s my ideal future and I know that getting to that ideal means I’m going to have to slog through some shit. It’s easier to slog when you have a degree, so I think I still want to (or at least still plan to) get a degree. But, whether I’m going to stick with nutrition or go back to one of my previous majors… we’ll see. Nutrition is interesting and I’d like to understand it. I’m not sure if I want to devote the next six years of my life to what I want to be a temporary situation.

My school offers a number of certification programs and A.A. degrees. I’ve been looking at the long-game, and I think I stressed myself out too much worrying about, “Oh, but I need this to transfer here to enroll in this Bachelor’s/Master’s program…” I think maybe instead I should worry about developing a skill; even if I don’t have an advanced degree, at least I’ll have the skill.

Of course, my ideal future also changes at the drop of a hat, so who knows. That all might be totally meaningless by tomorrow morning. I just needed five minutes to think about something other than alge-blah and blah-ology. BLAH.

I love you all.


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Like my content? Consider buying me a coffee. Less time worrying about paying my bills means more time creating content.

College, Mental Health

Learning to Friend

First of all, I want to send a big, warm, cuddly, witchy thanks to Sadie Wolf for being the first person to buy me a coffee! I really appreciate it! And a Happy Halloween to you, too! (I know Halloween was three days ago, but I’m a witch and every day is Halloween.)

Related: To those of you who haven’t noticed, I’ve added a button to my sidebar where you can donate to my ko-fi page. If you like my content and want to support me, consider donating. Me and my bills will love you forever.

Now, all aboard the Friend Ship. Maybe. Continue reading “Learning to Friend”

Blogtober 2017, College, Friday Faves

Friday Faves: "D's Get Degrees" and other amazing things I've read online.

I want to start this off with my favorite thing I’ve read online in my entire life: a post from the fantastic Damn, Girl Get Your Shit Together! called “Fuck Lifetime Movies.”

Damn, Girl is pretty much one of my top three blogs I recently started following and I really don’t know where this woman has been all my life. But, her post from last week on getting shit done vs getting shit perfect and being an overachiever vs being a high achiever in particular had me walking away with some of the best advice I’d ever not received in my life: D’s get degrees. Three words (not even; two words and a letter) probably just saved my entire academic career. That deserves some fucking applause.

Like, “you don’t have to do it all,” isn’t new advice. But it’s always gonna be good and relevant advice. And DGGYST lays it down in a way that’s straightforward and amusing. So, get your shit together and go read her blog.

I don’t usually link to click-bait BS from Buzzfeed, because it’s click-bait BS from Buzzfeed. But, this collection of 18 Tweets that Will Make Anyone Aged 21-29 Laugh and the Cry literally did make me laugh and then cry. #5 is basically how I live my life and why I switched to the financially stable major instead of the “maybe if I’m lucky I might be able to live my dream in my studio apartment I have to share with three other people because I’m broke AF” major.

And, since three is a nice round number (I’m a witch; Law of Threes, anyone?), I want to close this out with one of my favorite writing advice sites: DrakeU.com Drake U is run my Maxwell Alexander Drake who writes fantasy novels (not really my thing) and the Drake’s Brutal Writing Advice series of non-fiction instructional books (absolutely my thing). I’ve attended a few of his panels at Comic Con and he really is brutal. He wants everyone who wants to be a writer to get their MFA in creative writing, which I don’t necessarily agree with. But, his instructional books are pretty solid and his advice is blunt and a little scary, which helps to weed out the weak. Plus, he’s just kind of a cool dude.

I love you all.


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Like my content? Consider buying me a coffee. Less time worrying about paying my bills means more time creating content.

College

Personal Collage Project (aka nightmare personal exposé presentation)

On Tuesday, I presented my “Personal Collage Project” for my communications class. It went as well as could be expected. I got the full fifty points, so I guess I nailed it. My voice shook a lot from nerves, but I think everyone thought I was just emotional because of some of the subject matter. Whatever, I’ll take it.

I was considering posting my speech here for everyone to read, but, ah, funny thing…

I can’t actually remember what I said. Continue reading “Personal Collage Project (aka nightmare personal exposé presentation)”