You know what’s super annoying? When someone finds out that I’m kinky and immediately thinks I want to have sex with them. News flash: I really, really don’t. I really almost never want to have sex with anyone.
Kink and kinksters get a bad rep. Now, I won’t say that the BDSM community doesn’t have some serious problems with predators and abusers, but you know what? So do vanilla communities.
Even stepping away from the “kinky people are all rapists!” mentality, vanilla people tend to assume that kinky people are sexual deviants who like to find all sorts of weird ways to stick this into that to make an orgasm. And, witches, that couldn’t be further from the truth (for me, at least; for most of the kinksters I’ve met and talked to in my life). In fact, I’ve never had an orgasm as a direct result to kinky/BDSM play in my life.
Because, here’s the thing: For me, kink and BDSM isn’t about sexual gratification.
It’s about emotional gratification. Continue reading “TMI Tuesday: It's Not a Sex Thing!”