I’m a cook and baker by birth. I come from a long line of women who spent hours in their kitchens, slaving over their stoves and ovens to provide their loved ones with delicious, homemade meals. It’s a tradition I am happy to uphold. If I love you, I feed you. Hell, if I even only mildly tolerate you, I feed you. If you’re going through a hard time and I don’t offer to bring you an ooey, gooey lasagna in an aluminum pan, I probably hate your guts.
And I love to eat. Thanksgiving is probably my second favorite holiday, because I love that Thanksgiving spread. Turkey, mashed potatoes, broccoli, rolls, all covered in gravy. Not to mention to cheese and crackers, and deviled eggs, and chips and dip put out to snack on while cooking the main course. And pie for dessert. Honestly, just give me the food and no one gets hurt.
Here’s the thing. I’m also really freaking lazy. Or maybe I’m not lazy and it’s just the depression sapping my will to put any effort into anything. Either or.
So, I cut corners. I don’t do a lot of real from-scratch cooking and baking anymore, because it’s just me and mom in the apartment. Maybe Pup. It’s too small and crowded to invite my friends over. We have no one to impress.
Enter: Semi-homemade goods. Thank Providence for things like Pillsbury Crescent Rolls, because I make all kinds of delicious stuff with those! Like today’s masterpiece.
I’m a huge fan of chocolate croissants. Sometimes the Albertson’s by the apartment will have them, but usually they’re a treat reserved for when I find myself at Starbucks. There’s a Starbucks about a block and a half away from my apartment–easily within walking distance. But, that requires me to go outside, which requires me to put on pants, and this cupcake isn’t putting on pants if avoidable. I needed to find a way to make at least an approximation of this chocolatey goodness at home.
I thought about it, and what are chocolate croissants, anyway? Croissant dough with semi-sweet chocolate cooked into them. I could figure that out, surely.
My original idea was to take regular crescent rolls, cover them with mini chocolate chips, roll and bake as usual. Then my mother found crescent roll sheets and the heavens opened up, shining God’s glorious light down upon them, ye tremble before its might.
Or something. Basically, I thought using the sheet would be easier than the rolls because trying to roll up a crescent roll covered in chocolate chips seems like it would be a little messy and using a sheet would allow me to get the square shape of regular chocolate croissants. It just made sense.
Now, these aren’t exactly like croissants, because crescent rolls aren’t exactly like croissants. These are kind of like… chocolate chip breakfast biscuits. They’re a little–just a little–denser than regular crescent rolls. I blame the rolling pin. Maybe the mini chocolate chips in regular crescent rolls was the way to go, after all. Next time.
Alright. Here’s what you need:
Preheat oven to 375*F.
First, you want to open your can of dough and spread it out flat on your work surface. Sometimes it tears, but that’s fine because it’s going to get folded on itself, anyway.
Spread a little more than a quarter of a bag of chocolate chips over one half of your dough.
Fold the other side over to cover the chocolate chips. I used a rolling pin to get it flatter and spread it out a little more. If you don’t have a rolling pin, try to spread it a bit with your hands, otherwise it will be too small to cut later.
Repeat with your now smaller sheet. You’ll probably need less chocolate chips for this.
Quarter your twice-folded sheet of dough and transfer to a parchment-lined baking sheet. Cook for 8-10 minutes, until golden on top.
You can wait for them to cool, or you can burn the heck out of your mouth with melted, gooey chocolate chips like I did. Your call.
And that concludes Tasty Tuesday for Blogtober 2018! I have really, really enjoyed sharing my recipes with you all, especially these quick, easy, semi-homemade things like the easiest chocolate pie and fudge-“filled” cookies. I’m considering making these semi-homemade treats part of my regular posting schedule. What do you all think?
Let me know in the comments if you’d like to see more semi-homemade goodness on a more regular basis!
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