I’ve said for years that I don’t see much difference between spell work and prayer, especially when compared to Catholic prayer rituals. Candles are lit, incense is burned, words are said. Ultimately, both have the same goal: To put a request out to Providence in hopes it is fulfilled.
That being said, the first time I actually prayed–not worked a spell, but just prayed–it felt very strange.
I’m not vocal with my spells. I don’t chant or recite incantations. I typically write my spells on a slip of paper and either burn it or bury it (depending on my goal) to get my intentions out there. I just feel silly talking out loud when I’m alone in a room.
Prayer was no different. It felt almost like I was giving a presentation; I was nervous about messing up, and I stumbled over my words, forgot what I wanted to say. It was just generally awkward and uncomfortable. Maybe I was doing it wrong; I mean, it’s just talking, right? Talking shouldn’t be so hard.
To that end, it both shocked me and didn’t surprise me at all when, during one of the Alpha course classes I took, they said that prayer is one of the hardest things about Christianity. It’s just talking, sure, but apparently talking to God is really tough for people. I’m not sure why. No pressure, or anything. Ha.
They recommended writing my prayers down, since everyone knows I’m a big journaler. That seemed a lot more my style and is a lot closer to divine communication I’ve done in the past with my spell work.
Writing my prayers out as letters to Providence is a lot easier than the formality of conventional prayer! Although, it is still a little strange for me, just because I’m not really used to talking to a deity at all–I’ve always sent my requests to the Universe in a general sense. When I tried it, it still seemed to yield results, so maybe it’s something I just need to get used to.
Or maybe I’ll never get used to and go a different way. I’m not sure yet. This is a winding road I’m forging, after all.
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