Hands Off!

This post could be alternately titled: What is it with boys and knives, anyway?

At the beginning of our relationship, my ex had this awful happen of fiddling with my altar. During that time, I still considered myself a Wiccan and had what most would consider a pretty “standard” altar set-up: an athame, a chalice, an incense holder, some candles, and a decorative cauldron. Maybe I’d have a few crystals scattered around. He liked to pick up my athame and mess around with it.

It was nothing malicious–he wasn’t intentionally trying to disrupt anything and it wasn’t that he didn’t take my faith seriously. He just… fiddles with things. He still does (although, now he’s smart enough to leave my altar alone).

Oh, but it used to drive me up a wall! I’d snap at him constantly, “Put that down! Stop playing with that!” I don’t like people messing with my things anyway, but my altar was a sacred space. “Imagine if I went into your church and just started picking things up off the altar. It’s the same principle. That table is my church and everything on it is consecrated and sacred.”

It took him a few times of getting snapped at, but he caught on pretty quickly. In fact, he learned very, very well:

When we moved in together, one of our roommates was hanging out in the doorway (with my altar situated right next to the entrance because it was the only free space for it) talking to him. The way the room was set up, my desk faced away from the door, towards my ex’s desk. So, if I was working on something, I had my back to the door (and my altar), but could stare right at my ex. As they were talking, I noticed my ex’s eyes get wide and his head started shaking quickly side-to-side.

I turned around just in time to see our roommate put my athame back on the table.

It never ends.

I love you all.


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3 Comments on “Hands Off!

  1. I’m so sorry. My ex-husband used to do the same (and also disrespect my cleansing of the house — even if he wasn’t there when I did it; I mean, come on…I was this way when we met; it’s not like I changed mid-stream or something).

    They’re ex’s for a reason.

    My present husband (who also knew what he was getting into) isn’t pagan…but he respects my traditions enough to honor them and keep them sacred.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My ex was never disrespectful. Just fidgety. He always put things back and apologized if I told him not to touch something. We’re still really good things and he still picks things up off my desk (pens, makeup compacts, stuff like that) to play with.

      I’m sorry your ex-husband was so disrespectful! That’s awful! What did he think would happen when he married you? Suddenly you’d just stop believing what you’ve practiced your whole life?

      Like

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