I’m sure I’m not the only one that gets random associations in my head, right? Two things that are objectively unrelated, but are forever linked in my brain meat.

Can I talk about how Colorado Springs will always be the witchiest city in the world, to me?

Because, objectively speaking, Colorado Springs is not a witchy city. At all. It’s actually a remarkably conservative city. I’ve referred to Colorado Springs as “the biggest small town I’ve ever seen” because the attitudes of the people there give off that vibe.

And I will always associate it with witchcraft.

We moved to Colorado Springs briefly when I was sixteen—just after I turned sixteen, in fact. My mother warned me of culture shock; coming from the California coastline to the snowy mountains and all that. She had me thinking I was going to be the human equivalent of (wide-eyed emoji face)

What I found when I arrived were a bunch of obnoxious high school students not unlike the obnoxious high school students I knew back home.

Honestly, aside from, you know, geography, the Springs and San Diego weren’t all that different. City life is city life is city life.

Except.

Now, see, I immediately gravitated towards the “weird kids” at school, because I was sixteen and a punk and I had a lip ring and blue hair and the weirdos are my people. So, I didn’t get a lot of the conservative ideology that I eventually came to learn about Colorado Springs, right away. It snuck up on me.

During Halloween.

I’m not sure how I came across it—if someone had given it to my mother or had given it to me—but I ended up in possession of a small zine-style comic about Halloween and its wicked evils, leading to witchcraft, blood sacrifice, and eternal damnation. I don’t remember exactly what it was about, but I’m pretty sure you could do an internet search of “Christian Anti-Halloween Comic” and come up with a few similar variations.

What I do remember is sitting in the back of my mother’s car, reading this comic and laughing hysterically at the absurdist Christian Fundamentalist “literature.” The stereotypical witches in the pictures, leading young children to the occult.

That feeling, the existence of that comic (though I can’t remember it’s details, some decade and *mumbles* later), has been seared into my consciousness as being the epitome of my Colorado Springs experience.

Probably not the effect the Christian fundamentalists had in mind when creating their pamphlet of propaganda, but there we go.

Move over Salem.

I love you all.

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